Draft of Public Argument

Now that I have composed my draft, I have a few requests of my peer reviewers. First of all, this draft is quite rough and will hopefully be getting significantly better in the coming week. What I'm really hoping you'll keep in mind is my audience. Do you think that it creates the desired affect in my reader, the nostalgia and all? If you have any advice on the matter please let me know. Also do you think my conclusion is strong enough? In the past I have had a hard time getting out of the high school "summarize and wrap up the essay rut. So if you could watch out for those things it would be much appreciated! Thanks in advance for the peer review! Here is my draft.

Stockman, Daniel "Corgi Puppies 95" 05/28/11 via flickr. Attribution-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic