Clarity, Part 1

Based on my past experiences with my writing, I could improve on my own writing by taking the textbook's advice on adding needed words, untangling mixed constructions, repairing misplaced modifiers, and being less wordy (this sentence being exhibit A of my wordiness). I read chapters 10, 11, 12, and 16 in the Clarity section of the book, and in this post I will relay what I have learned from these readings.

metagalactic "Blah Blah Blah..." 10/30/07 via flickr. Attribution- Non-Commercial 2.0 Generic

In chapter 10, I read about adding needed words. In my own writing, I sometimes tend to (in trying to shorten my sentences) leave out important words. Leaving these words out can sometimes make the sentence not make sense anymore. I especially related to 10c, where the book talked about how reorganizing the sentence can fix any confusion. I always struggle to do that with my own writing, but the book's technical breakdown of how it should be done was new to me. I have always just fixed it until it sounded right, but now I know the actual way to do it.


Mixed construction of sentences has also been a struggle in my writing. In chapter 11, the book talks about how being too wordy can actually mess up the meaning of the sentence. This untangling of the construction of sentences also helps with the wordiness of my writing. Taking out unneeded phrases can help with both the construction and wordiness of my sentences.


Misplacing modifiers is something that I do often in my writing. However most of the time, I am able to eliminate these dangling modifiers in the revision stage. In chapter 12 I got a new look on exactly what a misplaced modifier is. I knew that I did that in my writing sometimes, but never knew there was a name for it. I actually enjoy finding misplaced modifiers in my revision, because when I fix them it makes the sentence so much better. In this chapter I got a few new examples on what a misplaced modifier is and effective ways to resolve them in my writing.


Ah wordiness. The eternal battle. I often find myself trying to cram needed information into a sentence to the point where it seems to last forever. This is a result of my desire to make the sentence "pretty". However chapter 16 of the Clarity section offered insights on this problem. The book helped me realize that sometimes it is more important for the sentence to be less pretty and more functional. Especially in QRGs, being concise is very important, and I need to worry about getting the main point across without all the fluff.


Reflection:

When reading Aaron and Mathias' drafts, I discovered that we had some of the same issues when it came to Clarity.


Specifically when it came to being wordy, all of us seemed to have problems every now and then. In Aaron's paper, in the sentence "Your ISP has been recording your browsing history and who you connect to and why, your cell phone company knows your everyday routine and can predict where you will be in the near future, and the National Security Agency probably knows you’re currently reading this paper", I realized something that I do as well in my writing. I try to pack too much info into the sentence, when separating them into two sentences would make the sentence stronger.


In Mathias' paper, I also found some confusion in sentence construction. In his paper, he states that "Some of it has to do with culture, some of it may just be the extreme testing and scrutiny that results in more cyclist being caught than other athletes, but it is hard so say for sure." Just as I do in my writing, he could make this sentence stronger by taking out the redundant part of the sentence. This makes it more obvious to me how to fix my own writing when I have this problem.