Revised Conclusion

Okay now this one I'm more comfortable with, because my first conclusion sucked. Similar to the last post, in this one I will be throwing out my conclusion paragraph and re-imagining it. I have chosen to try to answer the so what question to mix up my introduction and do more than a summary.

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02/23/12 via timeout.come

OLD AND CRAPPY CONCLUSION

Hu’s mastery over her audience is ultimately what determines her success in rhetorical usage. This author has complete knowledge of what proof her audience needs to believe in her claim, and takes all the right steps to lead them to her conclusion. She addresses Patterson’s manipulation of Koko’s words for her own gain; to win over the audience and make the audience doubt themselves. But, ironically Hu herself who ends up in a way manipulating her audience. While this may seem a little backhanded, it is nearly unrecognizable to her audience. Such is Hu’s mastery of rhetoric, that she is able to identify someone else’s use of manipulation, use it for her case, and then use the same rhetoric to twist the audience to her conclusion. When analyzing a rhetorical piece like this, we must be sure to identify at these final implications to get a handle on an author’s rhetorical skill. Through a full analysis such as this we can effectively identify rhetoric and from this synthesize the author’s grasp on rhetoric as a whole.


NEW AND HOPEFULLY BETTER CONCLUSION

Being able to identify and analyze rhetoric can be an extremely useful skill. In the real world after college, and even starting now in college, people will sometimes be such smooth manipulators that you don't even realize what you're giving in to. But by practicing now, you will be able to separate truth from fiction, and make more comprehensive observations because of this. But later on you could benefit from having knowledge of rhetoric that does and doesn't work for your audience. Often the most valuable skills we learn come from imitating others. By being able to analyze the effectiveness of certain rhetorical techniques, we have a foundation for your own rhetoric. While it is important to realize what does and doesn't work for you as a writer as you develop your own style, at first it can be useful to watch the experts. While Hu's specific article may not be relevant in the long term for its content, her use of rhetoric is something we can admire as beginners. Hu's article is a great example of how knowledge of your audience can be vital in convincing them of your point. When analyzing this piece, it is obvious how effective rhetoric and awareness of rhetoric can be in the science field.


This one is much better to me mostly because of the lack of summary. I give the reader a reason to care and apply what they have learned reading this essay, and I think this makes it more of an open conversation piece, I sort of imagine my hypothetical student reading this essay and then thinking back to it in their future endeavors as a scientist and information synthesizer. I also make it MUCH more personal, and sort of make it seem like I am with them in this journey, but at the same time make it clear that I am the mentor in this situation. Even if it still needs work, these changes really just made my conclusion infinitely less boring to me honestly.